Shorts and Church: A Personal Study

A couple of weeks ago I ran into an unforeseen issue while working at my church job in Danville, Kentucky. I was invited by the pastor as a new seminarian and budding pastor myself to share a message for the Sunday evening informal bible study. Note the qualifying adjective there: “informal.” So I wore my usual informal garb, including a pair of shorts and sandals as lower-body wear. Decently modest shorts, too--cargo ones that cover the knee, and a very nice t-shirt that I had just bought two days prior (for a good cause, too: Abort73). The text I preached on was Mark 10:17-31, and the thesis of my sermon was that Jesus calls us to drop everything that we’ve made into a god in our lives and to follow after him at once and without delay. Here’s a snippet of my manuscript, towards the end:

What if we as a church were doing so much good in Danville that the Government would be recommending people in need to come see us? What if we were one-upping government assistance programs like WIC? There are plenty of single moms right in our neck of the woods who could use that kind of assistance, but the overwhelming attitude of the mainline Church is one of “okay, we’ll help you, just don’t get our pews dirty.” That’s insane, people. And we wonder why the church in America is declining.

Jesus gave us two Great Commandments. The Rich Young Man couldn’t get past the first one! I think we’ve gotten the first one, but the second one is where we’re getting stuck at. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Mike James already talked about who our neighbor was—the poor guy who got beaten up and left for dead. Did the Samaritan whine about getting blood and what not on his clothes or on his saddle? No. Did the innkeeper? No. And you can be sure that the guy who was half-dead wasn’t going to be able to repay the Samaritan in any way.

And later on:

In the passage we’ve looked at tonight in Mark 10, Jesus is re-hashing something he said earlier in the same book, chapter 8: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.”

To lose everything and gain the kingdom, even with persecutions, even with a cross, is to gain everything that matters by losing everything that does not. Mike Breaux, a former pastor at Southland Christian Church, put it this way: you are either all in or you are not in at all.

That is what Jesus requires of us, end of story. A complete selling-out to him and his cause. A literal one for the rich young man, the neoniskos. Maybe Jesus needs some of you to sell off some of the things you are putting first in your life and give the money to the poor in order to follow him. But I think what Jesus needs more so from us is for us to lay down the things in our lives that keep us from fulfilling the Great Commandment and Great Commission. Don’t pretend anymore; it’s not helping you and it’s certainly not helping anyone else.

I later found out that week that, while the people gathered found my preaching passable (and that I did not have, as Jodie’s dad did after his first sermon, just “a sweet spirit”--more on that later), the greatest clamor was being made by the four or five individuals angry at me for dressing down to talk about Jesus. Why? I understand that it’s a nice sanctuary, and I didn’t mean disrespect by choosing to dress authentically for something that I had understood to be informal to begin with.

Do churches sometimes go too far to avoid being “whitewashed tombs” in their eschewal of cultural dress standards? Sometimes, I think. On the other end of the spectrum, when dress code gets in the way of you hearing about Jesus--for that matter, when music styles or seating or coffee prevents anyone from coming in and knowing that the number one priority of any given church is unquestionably the kingdom of God, then there’s a heart disorder that needs to be addressed. But then I remember what Paul says: “I have become all things to all people, so that by all possible means I might save some. It’s my responsibility as a pastor-in-training to do just that, but it’s also the church’s responsibility to make sure, once again, that none of their actions in and of themselves turn anyone away from Christ. It’s not just the pastor that needs to live in the fishbowl, but everyone in the body of Christ.

I’ll just wear pants next time.

Tea-ocracy

A couple of months ago Jodie and I joined up with an all-natural health and wellness company by the name of Melaleuca at the behest (and somewhat dogged persuasion) of a man from the choir I work with. They started out in 1985 peddling tea tree oil and other things based on that particular substance, and today they’ve got a much more substantial line of products (something like 300) that are completely natural, environmentally friendly, and cost-effective. Gels, wipes, solvents, solutions, soaps, sheets, you name it. They’ve got a great line of sports nutrition products, too, in addition to a vitamin and supplement supply like I’ve never imagined. Is it there? Yeah. Do we use it all? Depends. There’s a monthly commitment but it’s money we’d be spending elsewhere on the same stuff but getting less for our already squeezed-until-screaming paychecks. Hey, that’s the first year of marriage for you, right? Anyway, we’ve been using one particular cleaner with frightening regularity and it works better to clean the carpets of Basenji detritus than the usual Resolve and what not (although we have gone through a can of Resolve carpet foam in the last month... turns out Pharaoh is allergic to rawhide. Don’t ask). They also sell bath and beauty products but we haven’t dug into those at all, mostly because we like what we were using anyway--most of my stuff is from Kiehl’s, which is great if you can afford it (or have a sibling who stocks you up at Christmas). They (Kiehl’s, that is) have a lot of unique things you can’t get anywhere else, as a matter of fact--so does Melaleuca. It’s a matter of taste. But I must admit, it kind of reminds me of Tina Fey’s company in Baby Mama. Except without Steve Martin. That would make it much cooler.

Another piece of interesting information: none of Melaleuca’s cleaners have child safety caps because they’re all non-toxic. Poison control will tell you to just give them some water. I mean, it could be dangerous if one were allergic to tea tree oil, but I’ve never heard of that happening (although anything is possible nowadays). Good stuff.

Growing up we recycled (well, once we moved to Dumfries from Lynchburg). We had a recycling bin that on a weekly basis would get loaded down with a ton of stuff. I don’t think we ever took cans in to exchange them for money due to the terrible turnaround. At five cents a can it would take 100 cans just to be able to afford another 12-pack of Coke or what not. So in Dumfries they just picked up the recycling along with the trash, which I quickly became accustomed to as a kid. Now I live in a subdivision/townhome complex thing that doesn’t provide recycling services, so I get really uncomfortable just tossing my cans in the trash. I experienced the same kind of discomfort when I’d visit a friend’s house whose family didn’t recycle, and to this day I will reflexively leave a can or bottle on the counter either at home or abroad, thinking it will somehow wind up recycled. Instantaneously.

Dad was in town for a few days and he just left a little while ago. We had a fantastic time while he was here; it’s always encouraging. I’m hoping to get out to VA at some point this summer, probably around the end of August. It’s been kind of depressing not really getting to spend time with people since, what, October last year? I mean, we were in town for a little while over Christmas break but we were so stinkin’ busy that we hardly had time to breathe. Then there was Band Tour...

...never again.

Pictars

Hey, here's a wedding photo for y'all.

Our six month anniversary was the 13th of June, and it just keeps getting better.

au bon pain

New hobby: baking, specifically bread. I have a friend whose dad is a baker and some of the bread I've tasted is absolutely phenomenal. Right now my repertoire is pretty small, but I've made it a goal to try at least one new recipe a week. Today I actually tried two--drop whole wheat shortcakes with a strawberry reduction (which turned out fantastic, but the sauce was thinner than what I was going for), and as I'm writing this there's a ball of basic French baguette dough rising in the kitchen. I'm trying to A) stretch our food dollar and B) make life a little more comfortable for my wife, who is busy with a different kind of bun in the oven.

Also, I had my preaching debut last night! It went extremely well, and I'm hoping for more opportunities in the future. We'll see. Seminary has already started up on full steam and I'm only taking one online class this summer besides on-campus Greek. Party time.

Yeah, I'm addicted to caffeine. And to a certain extent, I think aspartame as well--which I've gotta stop. But I just have addictive tendencies. In the fall I was addicted to taking really hot showers three or four times a day. Why? Because I could when I was living in a residence hall. I especially liked the feeling of perpetual cleanliness. Now that I'm paying my own gas bill, I've cut back--and our water heater doesn't stay that hot. Other things I'm starting to become addicted to include Special K Red Berries and listening to podcasts in the car instead of music. I actually caught myself thinking last night on the couch "dang it, I wish I were driving somewhere right now so I could listen to podcasts."

I wish I could make this stuff up.

Other things I do? I buy cheap movies from the discount rack at Wal-Mart fully intent on watching them and then forget to do so when I come home. Recent purchases include Die Hard, Joseph King of Dreams, Saving Private Ryan, and Baby Mama (which we were going to watch last night but ended up running around the greater Lexington metro area for a few hours).

Open Season

Within the months of May and June I have been invited to six different weddings, all occurring on Saturdays. The first was Saturday; Jodie's bff Natalie got married at Highbridge Park in what was a somehow low-stress high-drama affair. It was also 60 degrees Fahrenheit and raining. So much for May in Kentucky! Winter was brutal and it's still holding on for all it's worth.

Jodie and I are going to get our Kentucky drivers' licenses today, as by this point we are official Kentucky residents (I am paying taxes to them, we got married here, they get $550 a month plus utilities to host us in their land of Unbridled Spirit, &c). Hoo-ray! I'll end up keeping my 571 area code until I switch carriers, if that ever happens.

Pharaoh is an emotional eater. If he has food in his dish and he does something bad, we'll reprimand him, making him sulk off and finish his dinner. That's why we call him Fatty.

Magic moments

Ever have one of those days where you just write a big freakin' X in your planner because you know that the chance of having any free time is several million to one against? Yeah, the next two weeks are like that. In an effort to avoid resorting to flagellation just to get the lead out, I'll probably be doing a lot of writing in the next week outside of the ten page paper that I found out is due on the 20th. And I'll try to minimize my blog-based complaining.

How much do I have typed? NOTHIN'. Yeah buddy. I'm so glad I'm almost done with college.

Unrelated, Pharaoh has been sick this week and waking us in the middle of the night with his burblings. I almost forgot to put pants on to walk him last night around 2:00AM.